Oprah Feels The Need To Answer A Question No One Asked
Click the title to read the article in which Oprah insists she's not gay, and feels the need to name the woman she is not gay with. I would be surprised if one tenth of one percent of the population knew who this woman was, or what her meager claims to fame are.
I could write until now until Doomsday about Oprah's inflated sense of self and my continued bewilderment at the fact that tens of thousands of women buy into her bullshit.
But let's just focus on this announcement, which , as far as I can figure, is apropos of nothing going on in Orpah's life.
First, Oprah needs to sell magazines to live the Oprah livestyle. So she makes an announcement, which becomes a story (or rather, nonstory since nothing ever happened) in her magazine, which in turn will sell magazines. Which means people are buying magazines to read her comments about something that never happened. She could have easily said "I never climbed Mount Everest", we all know that she never did that either.
But she has to pick a hot-button issue, so she picks the topic of homosexuality because she knows it will sell magazines. And she goes the "Seinfeld" route, she has to let us know that she's not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.
She continues "Something about this relationship feels otherwordly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own.", showing once again the only thing bigger than her waistline is her sense of self-importance. Because Oprah cannot be a mortal like the rest of us. She can't just have long friendships like the other humanoids. No, it all has to be blown up to mythical proprotions, as if a power greater than her own decided she had to have a special level of friendship that is somehow denied to the rest of us.
And since she's special, we need to watch her show, buy her magazine, join her book club.
Because if you do all these things, if you follow Oprah, you will never have to think for yourself.
I could write until now until Doomsday about Oprah's inflated sense of self and my continued bewilderment at the fact that tens of thousands of women buy into her bullshit.
But let's just focus on this announcement, which , as far as I can figure, is apropos of nothing going on in Orpah's life.
First, Oprah needs to sell magazines to live the Oprah livestyle. So she makes an announcement, which becomes a story (or rather, nonstory since nothing ever happened) in her magazine, which in turn will sell magazines. Which means people are buying magazines to read her comments about something that never happened. She could have easily said "I never climbed Mount Everest", we all know that she never did that either.
But she has to pick a hot-button issue, so she picks the topic of homosexuality because she knows it will sell magazines. And she goes the "Seinfeld" route, she has to let us know that she's not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that.
She continues "Something about this relationship feels otherwordly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own.", showing once again the only thing bigger than her waistline is her sense of self-importance. Because Oprah cannot be a mortal like the rest of us. She can't just have long friendships like the other humanoids. No, it all has to be blown up to mythical proprotions, as if a power greater than her own decided she had to have a special level of friendship that is somehow denied to the rest of us.
And since she's special, we need to watch her show, buy her magazine, join her book club.
Because if you do all these things, if you follow Oprah, you will never have to think for yourself.
posted by Beukey @ 5:01 PM
2 Comments:
At 9:52 PM,
Anonymous said…
Beukey - love the blog. Thanks for making me aware of the Hitler cat site, which is very funny.
How do you rate Britney Spears' sense of self?
At 5:22 PM,
Beukey said…
As far as Britney goes, I think she thinks she has to live the adage "You can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can't take the Louisiana out of the girl".
By the way, to further prove that Oprah and Gayle aren't gay, Oprah recently told a story about when she and Gayle first meet while working together in Baltimore. There was a snowstorm, and Oprah invited Gayle to spend the night at her place. Gayle's response to this was "I don't have any panties". Oprah said "I have some clean panties, and if you wear them, you don't have to give them back". Now, once you stop vomiting because the words "Oprah" and "panties" appeared in the same sentence, think about why someone feel the need to publicly tell a story like this.
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