Enough About Harry Fucking Potter Already

The whole Harry Potter thing--I never got it. It's a children's book. I'll say that slowly so you can all understand. It's. A. Children's. Book. So I can understand why children would want to read it, and why children would breathlessly anticipate the next book coming out, and why children would dress up like Harry or Dumblefuck or whoever other characters are in the book while they stood in line past their bedtime to buy a book that, for no meaningful rea$on, had to go on sale exactly at 12:01AM on Saturday July 21, 2007. I can understand that the book is something that parents would want to share with their children, whether they read it together, read it separately and discuss it, or have some other interaction that centers around the book.

What I can't understand is adults acting like this series is a work of art, or adults that excitedly proclaim that they would rather read these books than something written for adults. These adults ought to be embarrassed that their literary tastes run so low. For society's sake, grow the hell up and read some Twain, Swift, or Greene (if you even know who those authors are--I specifically chose them because they had one syllable names that you could easily understand) .

To stem off the inevitable question, I am not criticizing this series without reading some of it. A few years back, Newsweek published about 4 pages of whatever book was going on sale at the time. There was nothing in the 4 pages that justified further reading.

For a long time, I held the view that even those these books were for children, there was nothing relating to the series worth criticizing because the phenomenon seemed self-contained, and those involved seemed to understand that, at the end of the day, this was just a series of books and movies.

All of that changed whenever a review of the book was published by the New York Times(those of you faint of heart may need to sit down) two days before the book went on sale. Seems some booksellers ignored JK (G)Rowling's edict and sold the book early, which elicited the following response from her.

"I am staggered that some American newspapers have decided to publish purported spoilers in the form of reviews in complete disregard of the wishes of literally millions of readers, particularly children."

Oh yes, the children, it's always about the children. Hey JeRk, someone needs to tell you that American schoolchildren do not spend their days reading copies of The New York Times. And adults that read the New York Times and not going to give a shit about your children's book. Furthermore, anyone who doesn't want to read spoilers doesn't have to. It's a personal choice. You may not be familair with choice since you now feel the need to make edicts, and stamp you foot when they are not followed. Newspapers (get the genesis of the word JacKass, News-papers) are under no obligation to follow your wishes. All this money you made on this book has cleary gone to your head, which is why it is time to stop acting like you are some harmless entity, and point out what an insufferable sanctimonius twit you are.

If JK's comments weren't out of balance enough, we got another comment from a spokeswoman from Bloomsbury comparing the early printing of the review to the Boston Tea Party. It's a tortured analogy that I am not even going to try to explain, but comparing a book review to a seminal event in American history shows how divorced from reality the publishers are.

So now the book is out, and something like 8 million copies have been sold. So adults, can you finally put this Harry Potter crap behind you, and take this "love of reading" that Harry is supposed to foster, and buy a grown-up book?