Beukey on Pop Culture

This blog will focus on pop culture, with an emphasis on views outside, overlooked, or ignored by the mainstream. I may veer off-topic. We are all grown-ups, so don't act shocked at occasional bad language. This blog is not the place for those of you who stood in line to see "The Lake House".

Monday, January 28, 2008

How About Using Pink Ink, Or Have An "Empowering" Quote As A Banner Headline Everyday?

The Ombudsman (or maybe I should say Ombudswoman) for The Washington Post has a very serious problem to deal with, as she described in her column Sunday. The problem she and the Post editors are concerned about? Young women (ages 18 to 34) with children read the Post at half the rate as men with children. Of course, this critical problem needs a solution, so a Post task force will look at it and make recommendations.

I would think the people at the Post would have more pressing concerns, like, maybe, determining how good a job they are doing covering the hard news in the city? Concerns with improving the overall quality of their stories? Ensuring that they put out the best paper that they can on a daily basis?

But not in Washington P.C., where the emphasis is on being all-inclusive, rather than putting their energy into creating the best product possible.

The company that owns the Washington Post makes several products targeted to specific demographics, including El Tiempo Latino (a Spanish Language newspaper) and Sprig (which seems to be targeted to those going green). They even publish the Express, which, given the brevity of the articles and the numerous photos, seems to be targeted to people that have no interest in reading newspapers. If the Post really feels that women with children are such a separate market, make a paper especially for them. But don't shove any more junk touchy-feely non-news items in the already retaining water Washington Post.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Remaking Classic 70's Horror Movies

A few weeks ago, I got back into town late on a Sunday night. While channel surfing, I came across the last half-hour of the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I hadn't watched that movie in about 10 years, and that part is my favorite part of the movie, so I watched it again. This part contains the "dinner table scene" and the ending. If you have never seen the movie, the "dinner table scene" is one of the most intense and uncomfortable scenes you will ever watch. Not because it is bloody or grotesque, but because it is so disorienting, yet done in such a way that the performance seems real and never over the top. And I like the ending more each time I see it.

Last Friday, I came across the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre that was released a few years ago. I never knew why someone thought it was a good idea to remake this movie. You weren't going to do a better job that the original filmmakers. To me, it just looked like a cheap way to make money. But I had the audacity to hope that the people making the new version had something new or different to present on screen.

Well, hope got me nowhere. Not only did the new version suck, it sucked beyond the normal level of suckiness usually associated with these remake projects.

The new version is a torture porn film. That type of horror movie was popular in the last few years, but that approach is dying out (no pun intended). You may think anything titled The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is inherently assumed to be a torture porn film. But the original doesn't have as much gore as the title would imply, while the new decided to skip any kind of plot and just become a slow moving slug of a picture where the audience just sits around waiting for the inevitable to happen.

I've seen a couple of other torture porn films that were at least watchable. Hostel was all right; in fact the slow moving torture scenes are the most boring part of the movie. Watching a guy walk around slowly and decide which torture tool he is going to choose is not interesting. I even liked the remake of The Hills Have Eyes, although introducing the tired plot motivator of "It's all the government's fault" made me roll my eyes.

The motives in the new TCM were even less substantial and believable. The movie is set in 1973, and it had something to do with the Texas sheriff thinking the kids were no good hippies because someone defaced their draft card. Draft card? I doubt anyone born after 1975 would even have the slightest idea of what that was. Of course, everyone in the sheriff's family is crazy and grotesque. The kids are brought/find their way to the house, where they are tied-up, tortured, and ultimately killed.

The new TCM made a half-assed attempt to recreate the dinner table scene. But they had no idea of what made the original scene work. They made no attempt to recreate the atmosphere or the dynamics of the scene. Instead, it was another interchangeable torture porn scene.

Since they couldn't do the dinner table scene right, they certainly weren't able to recreate the ending. In the original TCM, a movie full of jarring imagery, the most jarring thing (to me) is the sudden visual change that occurs when Marilyn Burns jumps out the window. She leaves the claustrophobic darkness of the house (that darkness that we have sat in for 45+ minutes) and suddenly finds herself outside in the bright sunshine with one final chance to escape her captors. That leads to the ending, with her running out to the road, with Leatherface two steps behind waving his chainsaw. I am not going to ruin the ending for anyone who has never seen it, but it manages to bring a conclusion to the film, a cathartic release to the audience and provides an interesting last look at the characters and the situation. This ending was made before every horror movie ended with an eye toward a sequel.

The new TCM changed the ending substantially. The darkness never lifts, the main character flees in a car, and you can pretty much guess the rest, although the main character ends up losing control of the car it crashes into another car, killing a few more people for good measure.

The new TCM is pointless. It adds nothing new to the original story or to horror movies in general.

I have heard there is an upcoming remake of Last House On The Left. I don't know how true to the original it will be, but that movie is a product of its time, and would be the last movie that I would try to update to fit into today's sensibilities. Of course, it's also one of the most recognizable titles, so it gets remade. I can only imagine what ill-conceived, totally missing the point 70's remake they will dump into theaters next, probably a CGI-heavy remake of Suspira.